3.1.4 The 'Butterfly of self'
How do I start 'clustering' the complexity of human
nature? The first theme my studies in social ecology had me study was 'change',
a theme I experienced powerfully at age 20, when I spent one year in Canada and
came home feeling I had been 'reborn'. Two years ago, I realised for the first
time what the essential dynamics was behind the research I had begun three
years before and which I had led to my formulating the 'Business Flow'
hypothesis. It was a dynamics of change within me, that expanded my personal
self to what I called my 'cultural self' or 'societal self'. I also realised
that my major approach to knowledge was experiential: I had read few books
since, out of isolation, I gave up my deep interests in human nature in my
twenties. Working on my second elective assignment, I defined my method and
called it 'conscious experiencing', which is variously called 'conscious
living', 'reflexivity', 'being conscious', or 'radical inquiry' (Heron, 1996)
and is the basis for experiential methodologies (Bouchon, 1997a). I devised my
'butterfly of self' (Figure 9), and later that year, expanded it into the 'map
of self' (Table 3.4.1 in Appendix 3.4). Figure 9 shows the interaction between
inner concepts of self and the resulting type of interaction of the person in
the world. It has been a guide to my work since last year, helping me to study
at the same time my 'societal self' through working with others, and my inner
self and mind, with the link of creation.
Ordinary inner struggles Outer: Ordinary
stories
, ' i Societal self
J
oie de vivre
n present Potential:
Potential: Inner: of daily life
the self
Ecological self
or
'self-in-the-world'
low
11I11
(Mind)
(Organisation)
(Science)
Non-Ordinary EEs & EHEs ( Knowledge) Social
Involvement
Potential: (=in the field)
'Power of Creation' Potential:
Right Livelihood
Inner Actualisation* Outer Actualisation*
Of self: of self in the world:
Purpose - Life Calling Interpersonal skills,
communication skills
Integrated personality Social adaptation and
self-confidence
Fruit*: Authentic, spontaneous presence Fruit*: Place in
the world
(* Neither actualisation nor its fruits are considered
fixed states: they are on-going processes of becoming.)
Figure 9: The Butterfly of Self: inner (mind) and outer
(social) aspects of self These are the contexts of my research for the study of
the relationship between self and world. I have defined the 'societal self' in
earlier papers (Bouchon, 1997d, 1997e) and the ecological self.
The old notion of 'self-actualisation' defined by A.
Maslow (1968) is very useful in certain contexts, despite its
limitations,
because it is through activity in the world that we meet our needs. It is well
known that being 'in
survival mode' makes spirituality difficult to access,
and creativity a sometimes painful and isolating process.
Self-actualisation is also relevant to the internal
driving force of the person: higher purpose. I use it to distinguish between
the two forms above (inner, outer). Meeting one's needs in a truly satisfactory
fashion requires both. In turn, there is a complex relationship between the
meeting of needs and a certain development toward creativity and spirituality
(self-transcendence), but not as direct as Maslow first thought. This is one
area of my inquiry, which is not yet clear, but is important because it impacts
our ability to change and transform what values drive our actions in the
world.
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