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Beliefs and attitudes towards male domestic violence in South Kivu

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par Ndabuli Theophile Mugisho
University of KwaZulu Natal - Master 2011
  

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2.4.4.7 Effects on children

Children reinforce the meaning of marriage and they are not safe with domestic abuse. They are also victims when their mother is abused. In some cases, they may intervene to defend the mother and so, they become caught in the aggression. Moreover, domestic violence may cause divorce, and children will experience a mono-parental education, which impacts them negatively (Ruhamya, 2007). Fitting Olson and DeFrain (2000:201), one-third of the children who experience one parent's education because of divorce display considerable behavioural, developmental and emotional troubles and problems at school. Such children may leave their families and join the streets where they learn more destructive behaviours, or enrol with militias to become child combatants (Bahige, 1994:99). According to Jaffe et al. (1990:41) and Hilberman and Munson (1977:78), domestically abused children develop shyness and fear in school, if they have a male teacher in whom they usually see their violent father. In South Kivu, Bahige (1994:271) discovered that the boys who were domestically abused could not respect their female teachers as they considered them as their mothers whom they often saw their father abuse in the home from time to time. Matching Sable (1992:34), girl children who observe maternal violence in their homes are more likely to endure it in their adulthood when they are married than those who did not experience it in their youth.

2.4.5 Culture of domestic violence

The abuser may apply violence on the victim because this is culturally normal and accepted. Fitting Wilondja (2008:61), the culture of domestic violence moves family members from a peaceful context into a conflicting cohabitation. In fact, resorting to violence to resolve conflicts is often fostered by social, cultural and even political contexts and this eventually promotes and spreads male aggressiveness in families (Jumapili, 2009:102). An example is that justice and the police disregard domestic abuse as they argue that family contention is none of their business, which a good motivation for male abusers to abuse their wives in the home (Mirindi, 2003:102 and UN document, A/53/370). Presently, Simons et al. (1993:98) entail that training and observation of violence around us is too influential and it can reach the inner part of our heart and changes us into aggressive beings. For example, culturally and structurally, men have long been inculcated that they must naturally dominate, control and

abuse women, based on gender inequality (Weiss, 1973:39). The Seville Statement on violence rejects this belief because it reveals that scientifically, violent behaviour is not genetically programmed into human nature, which would confirm that human beings are automatically predisposed to aggressiveness (UNESCO, 1986:264). Nonetheless, although domestic violence seems to have existed in the evolution of human beings' history, it is never natural and family members should not adapt to it (Baker, 2007:1). But Finkelhor (1994:66) and Weiss (1973:43) say that such a culture prevails since women always close their eyes to domestic abuse, which is in fact their method of adapting to domestic abuse because the latter seems unalterable.

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